i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Let's get the cat blown out
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize