I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
My legs feel like baby dolphins
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
