There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
