But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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