It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
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