i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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