Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
