Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
