I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
