I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Randomize
