I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize