Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
