wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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