Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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