One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
