I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I want her autograph on my taint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
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