And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
