I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
