how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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