I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
