It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
