I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize