well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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