Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
