Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize