so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
