I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You ate ashes out of my bong
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
