I just threw up on my dentist
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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