I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
