Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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