i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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