STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
