the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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