if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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