He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
