my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
This girl is more easily done than said...
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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