I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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