Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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