i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
