I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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