i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize