Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
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