on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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