im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
