i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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