Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
