I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
