there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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