hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
