I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
