I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
