Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
