Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
