I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize