I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
