If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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