You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
