our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
