Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
she peed on how many people?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
