Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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