New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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