I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
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