she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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