u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just saw a hot homeless man
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
It's Friday. Sex?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
