So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
It was like getting head from an anaconda
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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