Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize