I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
