Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  he got wood on it!

  (408): View more from California

  i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.

  (818): View more from California

  ...i was talking about hockey

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  (818): he got wood on it! (408): i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals. (818): ...i was talking about hockey http://tfl.nu/alxf
  Replies (3) Good night (889) Bad night (1034)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free

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  (410): college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free http://tfl.nu/786e
  Replies (18) Good night (3357) Bad night (1334)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before

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  (813): i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before http://tfl.nu/gxl8
  Replies (10) Good night (727) Bad night (4645)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  so you made the shocked face and they caught you.

  (571): View more from Virginia

  yup.

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  (571): i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise. (570): so you made the shocked face and they caught you. (571): yup. http://tfl.nu/1dzq
  Replies (19) Good night (1551) Bad night (5445)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.

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  (952): Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home. http://tfl.nu/0k8h
  Replies (27) Good night (1623) Bad night (4122)
• Favorite

  (361): View more from Texas

  When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard

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  (361): When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard http://tfl.nu/jjpz
  Replies (7) Good night (933) Bad night (2791)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.

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  (903): Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week. http://tfl.nu/2lhm
  Replies (18) Good night (1253) Bad night (2722)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?

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  (607): Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised? http://tfl.nu/o7ko
  Replies (4) Good night (885) Bad night (501)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.

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  (281): I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car. http://tfl.nu/5ru6
  Replies (1) Good night (429) Bad night (712)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.

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  (801): I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow. http://tfl.nu/o553
  Replies (8) Good night (1279) Bad night (871)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated

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  (212): so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated http://tfl.nu/0gd1
  Replies (2) Good night (810) Bad night (420)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.

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  (646): I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone. http://tfl.nu/dft1
  Replies (8) Good night (503) Bad night (670)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.

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  (814): I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait. http://tfl.nu/20g4
  Replies (2) Good night (983) Bad night (626)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.

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  (612): It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell. http://tfl.nu/k02r
  Replies (0) Good night (413) Bad night (320)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.

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  (774): when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two. http://tfl.nu/rn6m
  Replies (6) Good night (312) Bad night (849)

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