He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
being pregnant is like rehab
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
