the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Randomize
